ADD? Or do I rack a disciprine?

Can't focus today. There's this house across the street from my office. What are they doing in there? What a ragtag bunch of ne'er-do-wells. They're always outside, loitering on the steps, smoking godknowswhat. Scalliwags. They always keep the blinds tightly drawn. What are they trying to conceal?

Also, there's sometimes the figure of a cat in the front window. Sometimes it's not there. But when it is, it's perfectly stationary. Is it a living cat? Or a sad little sculpture? I've been staring at it for ten minutes straight, and I'm pretty sure it hasn't moved at all.

I think its head just moved.

Maybe not. It's so hard to tell...What kind of inhuman hellcat could sit there, motionless like this, for so long?! Is it taunting me?

I swear to god, hellcat, if I have to come over there, you're going to be sorry. GIVE ME A SIGN!

It just occurred to me that hellcat might be staring at me, wondering whether I'm real. I haven't moved perceptibly, either, since this little showdown began. Heh heh. That's right. Take that, stupid cat. How does it feel?

Think I'll go to lunch.

Dear Tepanyaki Restaurant,

Dear Tepanyaki Restaurant,

I am deeply sorry about what happened last night. I realize that it is not considered acceptable behavior for diners to stick chopsticks in their upper lips to look like walrus tusks, or to put chopsticks up their noses. I want to apologize, and promise to try to comport myself more appropriately if I'm ever allowed to dine in your establishment again.

Also, I am very sorry about what happened to that lovely 3 dimensional representation of a geisha you had framed and hung in the ladies' room. That's a nice piece of art, and it looks nice in Nick and Erika's house. If it makes you feel better, they've already hung it in a prominent place, and they like it very much.

Also, maybe it will make you feel better to know that really no one escaped that night unscathed. Erika had a particularly hilarious accident with a drum set. She was very scantily clad, and fell into the drums, whereupon her thong became entangled inextricably with the drum set. It took three people at least ten minutes to effect her release, and her swimsuit area became exposed during the effort. It was very shameful, and was probably a karmic punishment for what we did at your fine establishment that night.

Also, Nick slept on the living room floor, David slept on the bathroom floor, I called everyone racist animals, and Bridget slept in the cold, then expelled the contents of her stomach.

We have all paid dearly for the havoc we wrought at your restaurant, and frankly, we blame Hyuen, who gave us sake bombs after it was clearly no longer safe or sane to do so. Our lawyers will be contacting you.

Dear Diary,

This is my first blog post. Ericka peer pressured me into doing it, and as usual, I caved in to the demands of the cool kids.

Now I will relate to you an interesting anecdote from a couple of days ago:

I got home early from work and decided to ride my horse, Bailey. I hadn't ridden him for about six weeks, and I'd been feeding him lots of grain, since it's been cold lately. But I decided to just hop on and go for a spontaneous bareback ride.

He was snorty, and did little bucks most of the way. This didn't concern me, though, since this is just one of the games we play. But then he got serious. His head went down, smoke came out of his ears, and I SWEAR TO GOD, he squealed. I was laughing at the noise he'd just made, when I found myself suddenly clinging to his side. We locked eyes, he bucked again, and off I came.

It was a soft landing in the snow, and I jumped up in time to ask him please not to run away as he ran away.

On the walk home, I had a lot of time for introspection. Why had this happened to me? Where had I gone wrong? These answers didn't take very long to answer, though, and I spent the rest of the hike plotting my revenge...

Ha, Ha, Ericka.

I made my own blog! I made this!