Dominican Holiday

So, the mister and I just returned from a week of frolic in the Dominican Republic. Some of the highlights:

-GINORMOUS rats gamboling in the center of the resort grounds. I was alone the first time I encountered the megarats. It should be added that it was really the middle of the night. Like maybe 2 a.m. Still, giant feral rats were charming, and captured my imagination for the rest of the trip. What do they eat? Do they ever become aggressive if affronted? Do they have dreams and aspirations beyond the acquisition of trail mix? What diseases do their fleas carry?

-Found a conch whilst snorkeling, took it back to resort, suggested to kitchen staff that we attempt to eat it. Success. Kitchen staff clearly interested to see whether I'd really eat it. I did.

-Saw a HUGE, aggressive spider. It lunged at David. Later, discovered many confounding bites all over my legs. Can't say conclusively that the two are linked. Just seems likely.

-Observed main mode of public transport: little motorcycle taxis. Awesome, right? Except saw many moms holding 2-3 infants at a time while riding these death rockets right next to giant busses. Did you know? No such thing as a baby-helmet. So that's gotta change.

-Clearly, booze is watered down at resort. Took diligent efforts to acquire and maintain proper buzz. Dear Riu Resort; WTF? I am still thirsty, and oddly, still not drunk. So ANGRY.

-Sampled local beverage: mamajuana. Supposed to be an aphrodisiac. Comprised of wood and herbs soaked in rum. Not bad, really. Also, enjoyed constant cries of "Drinky! Drinky! Very Good!" from servers. "Drinky Drinky" has become new party mantra.

-Enjoyed nightly live entertainment. Still, don't think I understood it. Every night, seemed like mystifying hybrid of "Sabado Gigante" and "Peewee's Playhouse." Periodically, performers would shriek what must have been "the word of the day." Then, all performers launched into hectic, frenetic dance to the sound of bongo drums.

A good time was had by all.