Biiiiiiiiiig Spider!

Every fall, tarantulas migrate down from the mountain behind our house to the lake bed below. Tonight, I saw the first one of the season. Naturally, I stopped the car, jumped out and ran over to enjoy being horrified by the GIANT EFFING SPIDER.

It was the size of my palm, and outrageously hairy. It didn't seem to be in any hurry, and seemed unperturbed by my screams of disgust. But since it didn't have eyebrows or lips, I admit it was hard for me to accurately read its facial expressions.

I tried to take a picture with my phone. It was difficult to focus, though, because I couldn't stop dancing around, screaming "ew ew ew." As a result, many of the photos are blurry.

I'm glad I got to see it. It was a thrill, and it's always fun to interact with nature by screaming at it in horror. Judging by the look in his eight little eyes, and the smirk on his venom-dripping, blood-soaked mandibles, I think he enjoyed it, too.

jazzy bmx

I'm the worst blogger. I just don't have anything to say. But check this out:

Outside my office window right now, there's a little grade school boy sport-riding a jazzy up and down the street. Somewhere, there's an old lady who's fallen and can't get up.

Oh, I see his poor old grammaw slumped over on her porch swing. I can't tell if she's watching him abuse her jazzy, or if she's having a stroke. Someone at Medicare would probably be interested in this patent abuse of taxpayer dollars. I recommend, nay, demand the death panels for this lady.

OMG, he just popped a little wheelie. He's got a buddy on a little bike, and they seem to have formed a little bicycle/jazzy gang. They're terrorizing the neighborhood. How did this happen?

I'm so happy right now.